I will enjoy new things starting this weekend and won’t indulge in repeats even if they give me insane forms of contentment and happiness. I just thought of this while peeing in a public restroom. No kidding. I get epiphanies while sitting in some obscure toilet bowl, though at least this last one was in the company of a toilet seat cover, a latest addition in my essentials (I didn’t know till now that disposable toilet seat covers are available in packs of 10 in the hygiene section of our friendly neighborhood supermarket).
Anyway, by no repeats, I mean no DVD marathons of House and Friends, which have been a staple of my weekends. I realize that it’s probably the reason why I’m not growing. I have more than a dozen movies to watch but they’re all left untouched because I always slip in my comfort zone via these shows, which I love as may have already been established.
By no repeats, I mean no surfing of the net just to get back to my blog posts over and over again. Extreme narcissism is okay but I think I’m focusing more on a less interesting variable (I can simply stare at myself in the mirror, for a change.)
No repeats can also mean no going back to past events, mentally listing the could-have-beens, no matter if it’s an enjoyable subject of daydreams. It’s over and as in most cases of events that always replay in my head, I already made a fool of myself.
I’ll run down a list of the new things I did come Monday. Let’s see if this somehow fixes the problem of my often-confused personality. If not, then I’ll look at the other facets later on. I’ve always had a theory that I’m messed up beyond repair.
P.S. I have something I cannot dare discuss with my immediate friends. It’s just too complicated that it might mess up something that’s good. I had to reach out to someone from my past because I know she would understand. Proximity is such a sucker sometimes. I just wish I would get past this soon. This phase is a killer. Although I think it’s what pushed me to re-think my options and plan on doing no repeats. Yes, this is still the same lightbulb moment while on the toilet.