my alfresco afternoon!

My Coron update is almost halfway done. Because of a recent resolve to change lanes in the next few days, I may actually finish it this week. Who’s waiting anyway?


The following is my most decent attempt to relate a medical experience.

I went to our OB-GYN today as part of my annual medical checkup. This is the first year that our HMO included “pap smear for female employees 25 years old and above” in the list of prescribed exams. I was surprised; for one don’t you undergo pap smear or pap tests when you have had a child, or at least, have started to have sexual activities? I am neither of those (yeah, are you surprised?). But since it’s listed, I went ahead to my Mom’s OB-GYN and to make the long story short, I spread my legs and gave her a full view of…it.

Skipping most parts I would like to erase from my memory, I remembered the doctor asking me why am I crying. Yeah, I cried. Because it’s freakin’ weird! She went on sweetly mocking me that what she’s doing isn’t even half of what would happen if I have sex. She’s only “taking a look”. My hands were grasping terribly hard the cushion of the bed, and I felt like passing out. Dude, I wasn’t prepared for it.

At the end of it all, I accepted the fact that I was invaded by a speculum, and since I also saw a huge microscopic glass aimed at my precious, I assume a colposcope also joined the afternoon party.

Since I’m paranoia personified, I checked everything I could find about what was done to me. I was relieved to know that (1) pap tests are generally advised to women 25 years old and older – can be younger, if the sexual activities started early (2) it is normal for first-time pap tests to feel weird after and (3) pap tests, no matter how “invasive” you thought – or felt – it was, does not make one lose her virginity (only sexual penetration does).

Taking a cue from (3), I am now close to banning sex. Seriously. I only felt a cotton swab in there, a little deeper than expected, and I cried. What more with—? Ah, I’m blocking off the thoughts now. Of course it’s utter stupidity to equate sexual pleasure with a medical procedure but you know…you weren’t there! You didn’t feel what I felt! Hahaha!

Anyway, I would still advise it to women my age because my doctor also explained the benefits and advantages of undergoing one. I was relieved when she declared my reproductive system to be in the pink of health (no pun intended, hahaha!). You should also trust your doctor. Mine is the department head of Obstetrics and Gynecology of Manila Doctors Hospital so I know her reputation’s not that sketchy anymore. She’s actually very good, very calm and so motherly. Anyway, this test, or any reproductive health-related test, could save you, especially if you’re bent on starting a family sometime in your life. I plan to have kids too but for now I may need to get past the trauma of my first pap test.

Categories: Citizen Judie


3 replies

  1. @ raft3r – sinasabi ko na nga ba 🙂

    @ pearl – it’s kinda good that i had it but thankfully, i have to go back after three years na! unless daw in between, i conceive, which would require a more regular alfresco afternoon! pero hay naku malabong mangyari yun in 3 years hahaha!!!

  2. i was terrified the first time i went through it. if only i can skip that until after 10 years maybe. hehe. but i’m 27 now so i have to take good care of my health. tsk tsk.

  3. nyahaha

    this is way too graphic 4 me
    but i enjoyed it tremendously

    more, more!!!

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