I woke up to a man and two children, a boy and a girl, snuggled beside me. The man was watching something on TV, the children were fast asleep. The little girl stirred and shifted, hugged me then went back to sleep. I asked the man to change the channel and he did. We were watching House. We were laughing.
Then I woke up, for real. It was four in the morning.
I almost never think of my future family now so I do not know what brought this kind of dream. I was not even watching nor reading anything close to it before I went to bed. Maybe I have been craving for simplicity and contentment lately that my dreams, from now on, would show me samples of what they look like, feel like.
I know you want to know so, yes, the man in my dream was him. Too bad it wasn’t explicitly obscene (come on, the kids were there!). I’ve had those dreams too, in case you’re interested to know.
Anyway, I don’t want to appear and sound creepy. Even I felt odd when I woke up. But the oddity was followed by a huge chunk of this great feeling, knowing that something that simple could feel so good.
We recently talked about how we plan to raise our children — mine and his, different sets of children, just to be clear. It was nice. I never attempted to poke into the possiblity of the children being ours because it’s too dangerous. But getting a glimpse of what he intends to do was great. Since I own my imagination, and I have no other references to turn to lately, I will not be ashamed to admit that I have thought of what we talked about as I dissect my dream this morning. So far, it’s been fun.
Ideally, I want to have a simple family life. A modest house, a car, three (precocious – his preference) adorable children, two dogs, relatively high-paying jobs (simple, hehe) for my husband and me. Our Sundays would be strictly family bonding time with us going out of town or simply enjoying activities at home. I would take my children to school and would pick them up after work. My husband and I would read to them until they fall asleep. Our children will learn different sports, will be involved in many activities, will excel in school (but without force from us, after all I believe they would all be pretty intelligent anyway). Reading will be a family hobby. My husband would teach them another language, or we would learn a new one together (it was his idea, I was just stealing). Twice a year we would go on vacation sprees, a different city or country (depending on our budget) each time. I would proudly show my children to work (and if we will be consistent with this fantasy-with-a-referent storyline, I would also bring the children to their father’s office which would be at the other compound — they will be there in three years anyway, hahaha!). My husband and I would fight from time to time, but since we’re each other’s bestfriend, everything would be a walk in the park. More importantly, we would have a fantastic sex life (ideal, remember?), getting better as the years go by (ah, you can imagine how hot it would be in between children, whose gap between each other is always 2 years, hehehe).
Of course, everything sounds so cool until it happens. Plus we should all be careful with what we wish for, right? It might come true and while it’s great, we could all be taken by surprise and unpreparedness would ruin whatever greatness it has.
This feel-good crap will fade later, I know. It’s nice to have felt it for a while though. Whether it’s with him or not, it’s fine. I’m not even sure if he is up to it, or anything close to it, and no, I’m not being judgmental here (as we agreed I undeniably am). No one knows what’s going to happen anyway. I just felt good that I’m still conventional, after all. I am still able to entertain the possibility of these events happening to me later in life.
Categories: Citizen Judie