Okay, Hugh Laurie lost. He did not even appear in the awards show because of a bad case of flu. I felt sad but it’s fine now. However, I have to check out John Adams and Breaking Bad to try to see what they saw.
He dropped by today, mumbled something about his luggage and his schedule, then hurriedly left. I have changed in that I do not take everything he says at face value. I don’t know if it’s still part of my self-made buffer or that I know him better now. Maybe it’s both.
He did something right before he gave me his (usual) airport-bought goodies. It was a greeting of a mannered man but all my feelings considered, I would have given a lot just so he would do it over and over until I get tired of it (IF I get tired of it). It felt good and really, I have been waiting for it for a long time. See, just that little thing and once again, he validated, unknowingly, that he could turn my world upside down. I wonder when he would turn me upside down. Hahaha!
I refuse to be humble and modest anymore about his treatment of me because no one is buying it anyway. Given that he knows how crazy I’ve been about him, maybe he won’t buy it, too. I am not even buying it myself.
I will not expect more because he will be jetting out of the country in six days. Another cursory physical manifestation of care would be nice. A little more than that and I would be set till…my birthday, perhaps?
If this intent comes across differently to you, you know what, I don’t care.
I’m just happy he recognizes me. I’m not saying I am not looking at other prospects because I am, but I should not look for them in order to forget him. It’s not going to work that way. I’ve been doing it, thinking I would shield myself from wanting him more everyday, but see, I fell flat on my face almost all the time. Time to change my strategy.
Categories: Romantic Judie