Prominent figures and objects today hinged on my PMSing (it dwindles as it reaches the middle but it gets intersting farther down, hahaha):
1. FOOD. Lots of it. It’s like my mouth was an incinerator and my stomach was a bottomless pit. Good thing I had baon today and a few other goodies, and my officemates had their own to share, because I only bought food for dinner – which on a normal, no PMS day, was just a terrible Sicilian Sausage Pasta thingie from Iceberg’s Chocolate Spoon Cafe. It’s noodles, tomato sauce, billions of sausage slices and millions of pepper, all swimming in sparkly oil. Yum.
My daydreams, which only revolve around (1) how would I burn money if I stumbled upon a million pesos one day (2) what House episodes to re-watch when I get home (3) how will my days be like if/when I go back to school again and (4) how would my scenes go if I become a guest star in House in the future, were now dominated by the varying chronology of eating the stuff I’ve been craving for namely, squid balls sa P. Faura cor. Orosa, tofu furai from Sushi-Ya, halo-halo from Razon’s, tacos from Pancake House and steaming hot Moroccan Mint tea from The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. Ang saya isipin, I swear. Ito yata ang gluttony sa seven deadly sins.
2. SOAP. I frantically looked for a cocoa bar soap because the past ones I tried really made my skin smoother and clearer. I have been using Palmer’s Cocoa Butter formula soap which I bought in Duty Free. When I ran out of it and nothing’s available in local stores, I shifted to Cliven Cocoa Moisturizing soap from Rustan’s. My stock was used up this morning so I went to Essenses in Rob and found out wala na.
(Enter slow diminishing energy…I’m so suddenly tired.)
Anyway, I tried blocking off my bad mood because I know me, if my normal “snapping” wait time is one hour, if i’m PMSing, mga three minutes lang, so I thought of happy things (like squid balls and fried tofu). I went to Beauty Bar but found nothing…and most stuff there are so expensive, they’re almost scary to try, aesthetically pleasing lang because they’re all colorful. If I am not into cocoa soaps, I would have made patol with that soap bar na gawa daw from goat’s milk. Meeeeh meeeeeh…Pinoy eh. Hah corny.
I found my cocoa soap in Marks & Spencer. Mura lang compared to Palmer’s but a little expensive than Cliven. Now I’m happy. Akala ko hindi ako makakaligo bukas dahil wala akong sabon. Yahahaha.
3. CLOTHES. I’ve sworn off clothes-buying kasi I have lots in my closet already. Hindi na practical magdagdag pa; in fact, I’m happy that my long-sleeved blouses pati yung mga turtlenecks nahuhukay na muli from the baul because of the weather. But then again, PMSing, so it’s understandably and perhaps justifiably fatal to pass by Mango which is screaming with its “Almost 70% off!” on most items. If you see me WALKING home to and from work soon, just look at my outfit, yun na mag-eexplain nun.
4. JILTED FRIENDS. I am not one to say something appropriate in a period of grief. I always end up saying something awkward but today, gusto kong iumpog sa pader yung ulo ng friend ko. Yung kaibigan kong TANGA.
Haay, all this time, and for sure when my PMS is over, balik ako sa sympathetic and enabling kind of friend that I always have been. But today, nakuuu, TANGA. Hay. When your friend has been jilted by his wife for another man and that barely two months after she officially moved out she got pregnant, wag agad i-assume it was yours especially if six months ago pa sha gustong gusto na lumayo sa’yo. What do you think you have, a bionic super sperm, you turd? Hay.
Though yeah, I know, last glimmer of hope yun pero ayaw na eh. I am biased because I am a loyal friend pero a part of me cannot judge kasi…she just fell out of love with you and fell in love with someone else, dude. Kung sabay man yun o magkasunod, it doesn’t matter anymore. And the fact that she’s NOT confused, ibig sabihin, she has to be let go na.
Again as I told my other friends, sana naging salbahe na lang si friend’s wife so it would be easier to hate her. But she’s not eh. Tao lang, at umibig. Although since nagpi-PMS nga ako parang gusto ko rin syang sabihan na alembong naman nyan, nagpakasal ka pa, magsasawa ka rin pala at ganyan pa kaaga. Harumph. I guess too late na para regaluhan nung pangkamot galing Baguio. Kinamot na eh.
I just hope my friend will move on easily. We’re all worried pa because we’re not the kind who tells a friend what to do, kung ano coping strategy nya, dun kami. Silence can be potent though at madalas ganun sya ngayon kaya natatakot kami na biglana lang yan tumalon sa building or whatever. I’ve never even seen him cry throughout this episode and really, tagal ko na syang kilala and the only time I saw him cry was when someone farted and walang umamin eh ang baho na kaya naiyak sya kakatawa. So I’m clinging on to that para mag-hope na kaya nya itong emotional storm na ito. Ang labo nung connection ano, pero yun na yun.
Although as of this very moment, and I know he would understand me if I say, again, at this very moment: TANGA KA. PARANG SINASAGASAAN NA PAGKALALAKI MO NYAN, MABAIT KAPA SA KANILA. DEMANDA MO NG ADULTERY.
Hahaha, pero wag. Tsaka ayoko pala makialam. See, I’m really insane, hahaha.
5. SLEEP. Or the lack of it. Nocturnal pa rin ako. Which is bad because affected tlaga ang Operation:Awesomeness ko. Hahaha!
6. WORK. Speaking of work, I’m kinda scared…kasi ang sipag sipag ko simula nung nagbalik-work kami. It’s so strange to me and for me. But this is something that could only bring good vibes sa aking work life. And even if in the middle of kakakuwentuhan about a hypothetical plan of jumping off to an international organization (na nasa kabilang kanto lang ng office namin) when I reached my 10th year, yung boss ko sprung from behind and asked me if I have an idea how soon my 10th year in the company would be. YAY! Naloka ako. But since I have alternatives, she also heard I said that if and when between now and my 10th year in the company eh magkaasawa ako at magkaanak, hindi na ako aalis…kasi I see how good the pay, the position, the stress level and the work schedule are ng trabaho ko ngayon para sa isang working mother.
That is of course granting that: (1) makapag-asawa ako ng Pinoy [na mas gusto ko naman, or kahit dating Pinoy, basta me lahing Pinoy, uyy] (2) kakailanganin ko pa mag-trabaho [na more likely, as if naman makakakuha ako ng sobrang yaman kasi, haha] (3) hindi nagtatrabaho abroad ang asawa ko [kasi ibig sabihin sasama kami sa kanya dahil ayoko ng magkalayo; kung mahirap ang buhay, puwes, magsama tayo sa hirap, basta ayoko ng twice a year lang umuuwi – hindi ako praktikal eh] and (4) KUNG MAGKAKAASAWA BA AKO AT ALL.
My boss threw that last one to me but she meant not soon enough, hindi naman never. Eh kahit na. Right there, gusto ko sya sabihang, AY, WAG NATING I-SHOO ANG VIBES! =)
Anyway, sa ngayon that my hormones are crazy, parang na-inlove ako bigla sa trabaho ko. Yihee.
7. SECRETS. Actually, secret lang. Which was not even a secret, but more of something I vowed not to tell anyone kasi tapos na ako dun. Well, di ko napigil I had to tell one good friend. Pero promise isa lang ito. Office bestfriend ko naman si LC eh. So I told her what it exactly was: AN ACCIDENTAL INFORMATION I STUMBLED UPON. Emphasis sa accidental. Typical LC ,wala nmang reaction. So parang sinabi ko lang sa isang bouncing board. It’s the safest kind and na-satisfy din ang di ko mapigilang i-chika kasi pag nagpi-PMS ako, maldita at usyosera din ako. Yahaha.
Hay. I have to go through this feeling every month. You can probably make an exploratory study on the timing of my blog entries; mukhang around this time of the month, mas lalong nao-obvious na I’m a loon.
That’s why I love this outlet. If not for this, meron na akong aawayin o sisirain o baka kainin ko na rin yung sofa namin. =)