I do it well because I have my very mean streak especially when I want something. I confessed this to a group who has known me for a long time and even if they all disagreed, it didn’t make me feel better. I just know I have my ways of bullying someone even if there’s no physical contact involved. I can bully someone without even meeting that person. It’s just that when I extremely hate, I do it well.
I feel guilty after a while. Like now. Because not only most things I said and thought of were unfounded, it’s actually unfair to the person. How do I say sorry and let it go when my ‘victim’ doesn’t even know what I did? And yes, I know I did something.
I just feel A BIT guilty because there’s someone who, because of my intense bully fever last year, is now “branded” and “identified” as *insert qualities I molded the person to be as part of my indirect bullying*. I do not even see this person at all but other people do, so sometimes, I feel bad when they call the person not by whatever the name is, but by the “brand” I so proudly labeled the person to be. I am not sure if what I said were true. They may not be true. What do I know?
So the evil on my other ear is whispering that I can simply hope everything I said about the person is true. My guilt could gracefully disappear that way. Or I can stand by it and insist that it’s true until the person becomes the laughing stock of everyone because I will feel very very very good that way.
Oh good God. PMS!!! Sorry, sorry. I just found the person’s face very irritating. Hah. I hope this person continues to be dumb as [IT] looks (tama na, Judith, tama na!!!), or just take the high road and dismiss me because I’m really a useless and good-for-nothing person when I’m PMSing. Sa ibang pagkakataon, mabuti naman akong tao talaga. =(
Categories: Random Judie