Harder than all Math or Chem courses I’ve taken, taking the high road is a big freaking struggle.
I have 1,275 words ready to be published. Then again, why for? I will let some stuff known, potentially I could hurt…and isn’t that what I want? Ah, no. Outlet na lang siguro. There’s something liberating about writing them down. Publishing them is another matter.
I don’t want to validate him anymore. At the very least, I am honored, albeit sarcastically, that I mattered that much at one point, enough to merit rude actions against me. Eh, sino ba ako? (Ako ba ay sino?!)
Pag ayaw na, di wag na. Temporarily or for good, I don’t know. In truth, this is only the catalyst, the accumulation of little rude actions since he returned simply gathered together and tadaaaa! Basta ako, malinis ang conscience ko. Plus hindi naman ako masamang tao in essence. Mahilig lang magplano gumanti pero in the end, nananaig ang training sa high road at pagiging mabait na tao. I’m even a pushover (hello, obvious ba???) So wala rin. Bullshit kasing “massive amount of kindness” yan, bakit ko pa ba inacknowledge yan na meron ako nung sinabi sa akin yun?
Anyway, if he has to do that to me in order to become a better person, e di sige na, go forth and hopefully, be really happy. I will work my way in becoming a better person naman because of it. It’s exhausting to hate but it’s more draining to try to comprehend why things happen. Mas madaling makipagbastusan at magpahiya knowing what I have at my disposal pero no, it’s not worth it. Sayang ang effort. Manonood na lang ako ng sine at kakain ng fro-yo na may granola bits.
Hay, c’est la vie.
Categories: Friend Judie