Happy Cluelessness

I’ve been having full days since last week even if there were days off in between.  I am not complaining, and you know a not-so-secret part of me really enjoys tight activities.  Today, after another hectic day at work, I realized that the more I become busy and cramped, the more focused I get.  It may sound odd but I do feel it.  Remember when I said I couldn’t be oblivious anymore? Those were light days, I guess.  Lately all my parts are up and running.  I hope to sustain it by wishing reasons to be this busy would stay.

Maybe that short and refreshing walk in Roxas Boulevard did it to me.  I take that stretch of sidewalk up to the footbridge in Avenue of the Arts in Sta. Monica whenever I am in the mood but today feels particularly refreshing — yes, the smell of the bay cooperated even though there were piles of garbage from the recent flooding.  It’s cold and windy, too.  Everything felt familiar and right. I walked with a good friend and let that short walk today be a reminder of the time when she told me one of her dogs died after accidentally eating a frog.  It’s unfortunate but also hilarious, sorry.

Anyway, I took that route on purpose because I needed to counter the large cup of iced latte I had and the palpitations it caused.  My friends suggested I drink milk.  I don’t know its merits but since I didn’t know any other alternative, I followed the advice.  So with an “it’s still early” sentiment + I couldn’t have reading time at home [remind me to blog about why] + I need to sit somewhere right now = Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf it is.

Now, to my reading time.  With almost full occupancy of students and business partners and friends, I expected to be distracted.  I wasn’t.  Well, I wasn’t able to shut them off (especially the students doing some editing project — lucky kids, with their gadgets and all; we didn’t have that 10 years ago!] but I didn’t care.   I finished a book and a half.  Just with a pack of plain crackers and a large cup of milk  as my immediate company.  I could have made it two books but I had to stop and check my Twitter and Facebook for distraction because I was reading a horror book (didn’t make it easier that it’s set in the Philippines; you know how I hold our own supernatural/horror stories in such high esteem!) and I was already spooking myself silly.

When I felt it’s proper to tap my shoulder for this achievement in focus and concentration, I became happier when I saw it’s raining hard outside.  No, I wasn’t happy it’s pouring hard and streets were starting to get flooded once more.  But you know, it happened and I didn’t even realize it.  I was seated beside a glass wall and why didn’t I bother looking? Concentration, yes.  CBTL isn’t sound proof. When you’re  facing the bay and it’s raining that hard, you have to be sleeping not to realize it.  Or very very focused like me. Hehe.

Pardon my weird fascination with this.  It’s a feat for me.  I therefore conclude I have to always be up and about to be more focused in what I do.  See, I even got to type this one. A book meme is also coming up next.

It’s a tiny feather in my cap, this small step to put it together and do what I like.  I seemed to have lost this mojo long ago.  I always back-read my blog posts, hoping to re-discover what was happening then, because I was more expressive, more real, more unguarded, not repressed, albeit very emotional to the point of being annoying.  There was a spark back then.  I’m finding it now.  One incoherent step a day, until it becomes coherent again, at least in decent standards, and the spark lights up again.

Categories: Citizen Judie, Reflective Judie

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