With finality, I can say that I am done with online dating. There wasn’t any “dating” that occurred in almost two years anyway. And before I believe (and you conclude, you heartless judgmental monsters LOL) that there is something fundamentally wrong with me let me tell you: most of its failure was for lack of trying.
Online dating sites are great. I know people, friends, who have successfully built happy unions that started via online dating. I encounter too many of them at work, too. They do work. But it’s not for everyone.
I had the guts to finally pay for an account in 2014 because it was almost Christmas and heck, I needed diversions. I forgot how much exactly but it was probably around $25, a one-time payment for one year. It allowed me to view photos, make my profile viewable to paid account holders, and jump to the direct messaging option than wait four to five stages of pre-made questions and answers. Then when my one-year fee ended, there’s a retainer of $5.95 a month. Not bad, ‘no? Not bad.
It was exciting at first. I “talked” to a few guys and siguro for lack of having someone who paid me attention, lahat sila interesting. Go lang, choosy pa ba? I talked to a teacher in Hawaii, a martial arts instructor in Fresno, some government guy in Virginia. I forgot why exactly they didn’t prosper. One guy I cannot forget was the most polite online sex proposition I got. When I made it known I wasn’t into it (not yet at least; first night ng usapan, ganun agad nagmamadali, may lakad beh???), he politely said thanks and goodbye, and wished me well in my online dating journey. Made me think, grabe talaga ang Canadians, kahit online predator activities, ang galang pa din nila.
I simultaneously signed up for a free account in another site and it became my “local’ searching site. Medyo mabenta naman ako doon but for very short conversations. Yung iba pa jejemon. I mean, sorry ha, kelangan talaga ang salitang “sabi” maging “sv” and ang “kuya” maging “kua”? Kuwa ang pronunciation doon, tigilan nyo nga ako! /rantover
It was also there where I met someone potentially okay pero — I didn’t even try that hard to research — a simple Google search yielded a child molestation record. It was in the past and I know people must be given opportunities to change but…sorry. I also talked to someone who writes for a news website (one of the more mind-stimulating chats I had in recent memory; lasted a few days; mutual decision naman na tamarin magcontinue so it’s okay) and one also writes for print media. Both of them follow me in my social networks now. Ok lang kami. We’re cool.
Then came Tinder. Ah, Tinder. I posted about this before:
Tinder was prospect-laden than most and to think it’s a free app. I also happened to try it fully when I was in the States in January and wow ha, if only for validation and score in the hookup barometer, ang daming lalaki!!! Hahaha! It’s a hookup site so location is material. I moved in three states in two weeks so mahirap yung iba masustain. Two guys came close and in one nagmaganda ako even though I had the leverage naman to say no. I was supposed to meet him at an independent bookstore in North Beach but put it off at the last minute. In hindsight it’s a combination of low self-esteem and weakness to say no. Kaladkarin nga ako di ba. So better nip it while I still can. Baka maging sex slave naman ako nyan without me knowing. The other one was completing his PhD in Archaeology so you can just imagine all the “digging and excavation” undertones in our chats. Hihihi. Let us leave it at that. LOL. Both instances though, wala din.
Okay, so why did I say I’m done with this whole thing?
It’s not really for me. I have poured my energy on things and activities I wanted and I got results. I am no longer thinking hindi ako mabenta or anything because I AM NOT A FRIGGIN’ COMMODITY. I put in irregular effort and time into them, and there were times babalikan ko lang ulit and ica-career when I hear someone na may bagong guy na kausap (momentary inggit factor, in short).
More importantly, through all the times I was searching online, there’s a guy I like at the back of my head. I was waiting for him to come back from his trip and then he did, so maybe I have been focusing on that rather than pursuing online prospects. And in general, you know how it is — when you have that guy, you tend to go back to him, the imagined him, the memory of him, regardless whether you have a hundred different sites you’re a member of. Kalokohang phantom loyalty, alam nyo na.
Again, it may not have worked for me but it did and it will for others. If you are still single, try it. Except for a few thousand pesos na pwede mo kitain ulit, wala naman mawawala. Iba din ang experience.
Now that I gave up my paid online dating account, I used the money to pay for what really makes my heart and mind rested and happy — TV shows and movie streaming! Netflix charges Php370 a month while iFlix charges Php130. Each has extensive TV shows and film collections, original series, documentaries, and local shows. Too many shows, too little time indeed.
Is it worth the investment change? Definitely yes.
Online dating isn’t for me but video streaming? It will always bring me joy. If you were me, obvious naman ano pipiliin mo di ba?